Today I decided to make a respectable post, no space filling, just something witty and informative, probably. I want to highlight to every man that ever has and ever will live on this planet of ours, something that you must be made aware of, something that has probably happened many times without you realising it. It's a subject area I am sure we all have encountered but never talk about and one that we never recognise, until it’s to late. The following is a true account of what happened to me on Saturday and I intend never for it to happen to me again, hopefully.
Dimples and I wanted to get something nice for dinner on Saturday, I could not face some random McJunk food or carryout Chinese and had more than a little craving for Cesar Salad from Marks & Spencer’s. So that's where we went but instead of just picking up some salad I found myself at the checkout, with an empty basket, a mound of bags in front of me filled with items like pink Champaign, entering my PIN and without memory of what had just transpired!
How do women do this, I am neither dumb nor uninvolved but I had just been hood winked, surely? Did I really just spend that much on dinner?! It would have been cheaper to fly to Toronto and eat in the revolving restaurant at the top of the CN Tower!
Now that was only the start, because before I fully understood what had actually happened I was standing at another till, this time in a shoe shop (I know what you are going to say but I was not thinking straight after the M & S incident, caught off guard and did not have the wits to stand outside looking bored and uninvolved like the other men), handing over cash for a “cute pair of red satin pumps”! Huh??! The only real memory I have was Dimples saying she wanted to ‘have a look’ at the shoes. Surely there was no harm in looking??! Now I don’t know about you but I enjoy looking at stuff, gadgets, PC anything electrical really but that means, have a look, in literal terms. I commit to memory what is available, what is current and up coming so that, if the occasion arrives and I need or want one of these products, I will be well informed. Apparently to girls / women / ladies ‘looking’ actually means ‘your buying’ and it’s only taken me 31 years to realise this!
Upon leaving said shop I felt uneasy, dirty, violated, raped if you will. How did this happen, do women have one of those pen like devises from Men in Black to erase memories? Is it a case of X-Men mind control powers? Maybe it’s more sinister and the shops are in on the scam too, all smoke and mirrors! Whatever, I am determined to get to the bottom of this, can you help or is there a women ready to talk, naturally in confidence, about how the deception is preformed?
Now obviously I get something in return for this apparent kindness on my part but somehow an hour’s peace to play poker does not seem worth it!
I never really understood why gangs of men are to be found outside woman’s shops, I always like to take an interest in these things and Dimples, being a modern man but now I know how silly I have been. Men beware, women are dangerous, calculating shoppers and my advice is always, ALWAYS forget your wallet when you venture near a shopping centre, wife, GF, lover in tow! The word needs spread men and maybe a self-help group could be formed for those of us, like myself who have gone too far down the path, placing your entire wages in the control of your partner!
TODAY'S MINI REVIEW :: Harsh, difficult, gritty, catchy, intelligent, witty and highly enjoyable. Check out Plan B - Who Needs Actions When You Got Words. The CD arrived on Saturday and has been on repeat ever since.
TODAY'S LINKS :: Real Male Rape Help :: I said it would happen and I recon this is just the start of it... :: Find the lowest UK petrol price in your area! :: GAD123 Stumble Upon Page :: Mobile user interfaces – its time for a new paradigm
TODAY'S BIG BROTHER THOUGHT :: Is Nikki really anorexic and how much better looking, day by day, is Imogene looking as she gains weight and curves?
REMEMBER KID'S :: "Procrastinate now!"
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